


we can kick it, hang for hours, and just mouth off about the world

by dolliedear



Series: Valentine's Gifts <3 [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: (mentioned) - Freeform, Canonical Character Death - Finn Hudson, Eating Disorders, Friendship, Gen, St. Berry Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29356509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dolliedear/pseuds/dolliedear
Summary: Finn's death hits hard, especially for Rachel. Even after six months, so she seeks out the one person who won't force her to talk about it.
Relationships: Rachel Berry & Jesse St. James
Series: Valentine's Gifts <3 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104206
Kudos: 2





	we can kick it, hang for hours, and just mouth off about the world

**Author's Note:**

> title is from six feet under the stars by all time low  
> for em <3

Rachel Berry undoubtedly knew what heartbreak was, had dated and broken up with the love of her life multiple times to be familiar. Experienced what observing someone you love so deeply fall for someone else, who you didn't even hold a candle to, felt like. But nothing— nothing at all— could have properly prepared her for tragically losing that someone to premature death. Not a breakup, not unrequited love, but something completely out of anyone's direct control. Finn was her's, for better and worst— usually worst. It stung, for months. It still stung. Six terrible months passed. Passed his unfortunate death. Six months since she received the urgent call. Six months since his funeral and it wasn't getting better.

She merely pretended she was holding it together, but she felt out of control. She could barely be in the same room as her roommate, her dear friend, because she felt physically ill when she got out of bed. She continued going to her classes, though, constantly fatigued but pushed through it. Kurt delivered her meals in bed, they often went untouched and ended up in the bin. Which, in turn, inevitably made her feel even worse. Kurt was making vegan meals for her, and she hadn't— couldn't eat them.

Rachel felt so outside of herself, so she did the one thing that she could think of. She drove, for countless hours. Nowhere in mind, just driving. The radio emitting music from the playlist she and Finn had put together as she softly sang along. Uncontrollable tears ran down her cheeks, endlessly. God, she was an emotional mess. What was she doing? She had class tomorrow, and she was out, in the middle of nowhere, driving. She only had a vague idea where she was, but it didn't matter to her. Not really. In fact, she kept driving. Let familiar tunes spill out her car as she turned down darkening roads.

It was all a blur, really. She doesn't know what processed her to drive to Jesse St. James's house, but she was there. She was there in the parking lot, staring pensively at the bricked house that was obviously worn from many years of love. She brought her forehead to the steering wheel, desperately trying to properly control her breathing (when had it gotten difficult to breathe comfortably?) and contemplating if she should leave.

She sent him a text instead:

_Let me in? Maybe?_

Three glowing dots appeared almost instantly, genuinely seeming to type forever.

_What? Berry, where are you?_

She sniffled.

_Your parking lot. Please. Let me in?_

_I can't let you in if you aren't at my door. Even you know that. You're a smart girl._

Rachel hadn't bothered with replying, focusing on exiting her car. She carefully turned the ignition off, watched as her glowing dashboard dulled, and shakily grasped onto the door handle. Why was it so hard to get out? Slowly, she pushed the door open, strategically placing one cautious foot out then another.

Before she comprehended, she was out, on top of the sleek, black pavement and her feet carrying her. Jesse met her halfway— or did she meet him? Smacked right into his chest, her arms slung around his shoulders as she nuzzled into her neck. Held back tears, she shouldn't be crying. He was winded tightly around her waist, his fingers pressing softly into the small of her back.

"Missed you too, Rachel."

It was hard to restrain the cheerful smile that fought for the place on her face.

"W— Who said I missed you?"

Jesse pulled back, much to her disappointment, he always had a knack for making her feel better. He brushed strands of hair out of her face.

"Well, no one. But I missed you."

"Shocking, I thought you were inhuman. Didn't know you were capable of genuine feelings."

"Awh, Rachel, you flatter me. Really."

The delighted giggle that bubbled up was followed by a harmonic series of sibling giggles.

"I'd hope so, I did date your poor ass."

" _Rachel_ ," He presented her a look that modeled a miserable, sick puppy.

"Jesse," She tossed back in a mocking tone.

"You know, I could just leave you out here in the cold."

Rachel flung an affectionate arm around his shoulders, squeezing tightly. Being with him felt so light, easy.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, but I would."

His expression held no malice, though. He was doing his very best not to let her see him smile.

"So, Miss Berry, to what do I owe the visit? Not that I don't love you being here."

"I," she faltered. "I just needed out, I think."

"Well, you can tell me all about it when we're inside. Come on, you moping cat, get off my lawn."

They laughed joyously on their walk inside and didn't stop until minutes after they were settled peacefully on Jesse's couch, gently leaning on each other as they laughed themselves silly. Rachel didn't want to focus on the bad tonight. Didn't want to talk about Finn, that's all anybody ever wanted to talk about. Jesse wouldn't force her to either, which was nice. For one night, she just wanted to feel normal and did. With the help of Jesse St. James. God, her life was messed up. 


End file.
